You are a completely emotionless psychopath, but instead of killing or manipulating people, you choose to try and make them genuinely happy.

Give others what I cannot have

I set my card on the counter and slid it up to the cashier.

"I hope you found everything okay with your meal!" he said with a smile, taking hold of my card without looking at it. He maintained eye-contact as he swiped the card and handed it back to me.

"Yes," I said, dully.

"That's good to hear," he nodded affably.

"I'd like to cover everyone else's meal as well," I said, sliding the card back to him after he handed me my receipt.

"Haha, good one! I'm hoping you come back again with an attitude like that," he said, his smile broadening good-naturedly.

I tapped the card again.

"I'd like to pay for everyone, please," I said, a little more emphatically.

He stopped on a chuckle, then looked at me concerned.

"Sir, that would cost you--" he looked around the restaurant. Every seat was taken. "Thousands of dollars!" he said.

"Yes," I nodded, unphased.

"Are you sure you--"

"I literally could not care less about the thought of consequences. I'm paying for everyone's meal. And tipping, too. 30% each," I declared.

His eyes grew wide and his eyebrows wiggled with uncertainty.

"30 percent!?" he said, unable to keep his voice low anymore.

"Fine, 40. But I'm not going higher than that," I said, throwing the card into his chest. He caught it, baffled.

"Sir, I can't--"

"You can and you will," I said menacingly. "Swipe the card."

"But--"

"Swipe. The Card." I said through grit teeth.

He looked between me and the card a handful of times. He was hesitating. I hated that. He opened his mouth to protest once more, but I started talking before he did,

"Listen here you little wrinkle nosed, bucktooth child. I am not leaving your pathetic establishment until you've swiped that card and charged it close to $10,000 worth of meals for the sad patrons at this restaurant. You will swipe it one by one as you cover the debt owed by each one and end this transaction with a smile. After you do this, you will never mention this interaction to another soul so long as you live, or you'll have to deal with me again. If this is me when I'm satisfied by a meal, you want me to come back to you when I'm upset about you doing something stupid to abide by a miserably inadequate sense of morality and trying to protect me from my own finances? Huh? Do you??" I yelled.

He shook his head vigorously, swallowing hard. A couple of people sitting around the register turned their heads but didn't pay us any mind besides that.

"Pay the bills so I can be on my way," I hissed.

He nodded slightly and swiped the card dozens of times, checking out and covering the tabs of all who sat and ordered inside. Sweat crept across his forehead as he got to the last few transactions.

"Th-- thank you," he stammered, holding the card out to me.

"And the smile?" I asked.

He startled, and then forced a wide, terrified smile, showing no teeth. I nodded, accepting his measly attempt.

"Sorry about all that. I know waiters get disrespected a lot more than they ought to," I said deadpan. He looked even more confused as I turned around and left the building, heading to the town's homeless shelter.

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