The year is 2077 and its now illegal to be mean on the internet
Comments under this post had better be nice >:(
"Cyber Police, open up!" came a slamming at the door.
I went rigid in my seat, closing all my tabs and shutting down my computer. How had they found me? I had been so careful, even browsing in private mode the entire time.
"You have three seconds to open up," another knock at the door came.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I yelled, falling out of my chair and scampering toward the door. I unlocked it but left the latch on, opening the door just a crack.
"Can I help you, officers?" I asked curtly.
"Do you go by @TheMoshPics online?" he asked, pulling up my account and putting a phone in front of me.
"Err, yeah, that's my account," I nodded.
"We got him," the officer declared, smashing into the door and flinging me backward into the floor.
"Whoa whoa whoa," my roommate came running out of his room, "what's going on?"
"Who is this?" one of the officers asked, pointing a taser at him.
"That's just my roommate!" I yelled, holding my hands up.
"Dude, is this the Cyber Police?" my roommate asked.
"When I say who is this I mean what's his persona! Who is he!?" the officer screamed, priming the weapon to fire.
"Ah! No! I'm @TheSnorlax! Like The Lorax, but like the Pokemon that--"
"Yeah, cute, shut up," the officer said while another came and placed zip ties around my wrists while I was still stunned on the floor.
"Hey, what did I even do?" I asked. @TheMoshPics was my most innocent and wholesome account.
"@TheSnorlax checks out, leave him be. But make sure we take away this scum," the officer said, closing his phone.
"What did I do!?" I screamed. I was worried I had accidentally posted form one of my alt accounts, but they didn't seem to know the names of any of them.
The two officers looked to one another.
"Like you don't even know," one spat.
"I don't!" I insisted.
The second one sighed and pulled out his phone.
"Do you remember this video?" he asked. "The one entitled 5-year-old girl gives speech and BLOWS EVERYONE AWAY | MUST SEE?"
"Sure, I remember. She's really well-spoken," I said.
"Well, that's not what you commented. You said, and I quote, 'What the h*ck?' with the 'e' in 'heck' replaced with an asterisk," he announced.
His partner shook his head in shame. I waited for him to continue. He began dragging me away.
"Hey! What? So, what? I said, what the heck! Like 'what the heck, this is so good!'"
"That's not how she saw it, she thought you were bullying her, saying what the heck and calling it out as clickbait!" he snapped.
I shook my head in disbelief.
"So what? You can clearly see from what I said that it was an innocent comment," I retorted, looking to my roommate for support. He shook his head and took a few steps back, not wanting to get involved with something as serious as the Cyber Police.
"It doesn't matter that you thought it was innocent! It matters how you made her feel! And you made her cry!" the partner screamed.
"Five-year-olds cry all the time!"
"Tell it to the judge, but based on what I've heard from you today, I'm hoping they put you away for a long time," the first officer accounted, dragging me out of my apartment and into CyberSecurity.
Boooo
This is as scary as 1984